Sunday, September 17, 2023

230917 Sermon on forgiving from the heart (Pentecost 16) September 17, 2023

 Audio recording

Sermon text:

Forgiveness can be difficult. It can be complicated. If I accidentally bump into you as we are passing by each other, that’s not hard to forgive. Not all forgiveness is like that. In fact, I don’t know if that really is forgiveness. It’s more like politeness. Forgiveness is more serious.

Being polite is easier than forgiving. Since politeness is easier than forgiveness we often try to have politeness be considered a sufficient substitute for actual forgiveness. There’s a phrase that’s common, “I will forgive, but I won’t forget.” That’s like a forewarning for how you’re going to treat the person—coldly and fiercely politely. The recipient of this coldness gets the message quite clearly. He or she knows that they are not forgiven. There’s no forgiveness from the heart.

So when Jesus says at the end of our reading, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart,” we should not think that our cold avoidance of the one with whom we have our beef is sufficient. That’s not forgiveness. It also isn’t fulfilling what Jesus says at the beginning of our reading when Peter came to him with a question. Peter thought that he was being quite generous when he asked Jesus, “How many times should my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” “No,” Jesus says, “not seven times but seventy times seven.”

So how do we forgive? How do we forgive from the heart? I can’t pretend that I have some secret formula. We do have Jesus’s parable, though, and that might help if we are willing to receive instruction from him. I won’t hold my breath, though, because being willing to receive instruction particularly about forgiveness is not automatic. Here’s another phrase: “blind with rage.” A person can go blind from anger, not literally, but in the sense that the person is so angry that he or she won’t take anything else in. Don’t talk to them about forgiveness because they won’t have it. You have no idea how badly they’ve been hurt. So it’s not automatic that people will listen to Jesus’s parable, but maybe today’s the day.

Jesus’s parable is pretty straightforward. There was a man who owed a huge sum of money to the king. He couldn’t pay the debt. He was going to be sold together with his family into slavery until the debt was paid. However, because the man pleaded with the king, and because the king had pity on him, the king forgave the entire debt.

Then this same man goes out and find somebody who owes him some money. He took him by the throat and demanded repayment. This debtor said the very same words that the one who was forgiven had just said, but instead of forgiving the man he throws him into prison until he should pay back what was owed.

This was highly distressing to those who heard it. The hypocrisy of it, the cruelty of it, made them make their petitions to the king. When the king found out about it he called the man in. “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, and you couldn’t have mercy on the one who owed you?” And he threw him into prison until he should pay back the last penny.

As we consider this parable, what I’d like to convince you of is that we are all like the man whose debt was forgiven. It might seem extraordinary that he is so blind to his hypocrisy—that he can’t forgive as he has been forgiven—but that’s not that hard if you have the perspective that comes so easily to us. The perspective that comes so easily to us is always to be looking out for ourselves: How can I get ahead? How can I have more? How can I get without having to give? With this perspective the man’s debt being forgiven was a huge boon. Here he got to spend all that money, and now he doesn’t have to pay it back. Good for him!

When he left the king and found the fellow who owed him money he simply continued to be the way he always was. He continued to look out for himself. Here were some more riches he could accumulate for himself if only he could somehow get the man to pay. With the perspective we’ve been considering, we have to say, “Good for him!” He was just being a good businessman. As every good businessman knows, you have to pay as little as you possibly can, and you have to get as much as you possibly can. Maybe this man’s greed and lack of compassion was what he prided himself most on. It’s the way that he had gotten so far ahead in life, you see.

So I don’t think this fellow who was forgiven by the king was even thinking about what he was doing. He was just doing what he had always done. He’d always looked out for himself. He’d always done what was best for himself. If this fool king wants to forgive him his debt, okay. A fool and his money are soon parted. But this fellow was no fool. He knew how to get ahead in life, and it wasn’t by forgiving debts!

This way of living is extremely common. It’s the default, natural way. Lots of people think there’s nothing wrong with it. Maybe you don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It wouldn’t be hard to find some people who give lectures and write books who would argue that this way of living is good for one’s self and it’s good for society. With every last person competing for every last resource we have managed to bring about our glorious modern world with all of its abundance. Selfishness has supposedly produced this miracle. And, as well all know, everybody’s so happy these days too, right? So, according to them, we don’t need less self-centeredness, we need more of it.

But if this is the way you will live your life, then you will never forgive. You can’t forgive, you see, because forgiving is against the rule that you’ve made for yourself. The rule you’ve made for yourself is that you are only going to do what is good for you, what enriches you, what feels good for you. Forgiveness is quite different from all that. Forgiveness is costly.

Think of this king. He lost billions of dollars when he forgave the debt. That’s what this debt would be in today’s money—literally billions, not millions, billions. Such a debt would drag almost all our billionaires into the poor house. He went from being rich to poor. Think of what he could have purchased with those billions of dollars.

And the same thing is true with the fellow who was forgiven, but who didn’t want to forgive his fellow servant. That forgiveness would have been costly too. 100 denarii is probably about $20,000 in today’s money. If a person doesn’t collect on a debt like that, that hurts. It means you can’t buy what you would have otherwise like to have bought. You can’t go on a trip that you otherwise would have liked to have gone on.

But it’s not always money that we lose with forgiveness. Sometimes it’s costlier things like our pride. We like to be right. You were right, of course, with that person with whom you’ve had your beef. You’ve always been right. They’ve always been wrong. So how could you give up your claims against them? They need to give up their claims against you!

Or maybe someone has dragged you or your family down into shame. They’ve wrecked your good name. Or maybe they’ve wrecked your livelihood. Or maybe they’ve wrecked your peace and happiness. These are very serious, costly things—often irreplaceable, irreparable things.

If you live your life in such a way that you are always going to come first, it is impossible let go of such costly things. Never, ever, in a million years will you forgive—at least not from the heart. Maybe you’ll be polite, but you’ll never love them. You can’t love them because they broke your #1 commandment: You shall not harm me.

One of the most surprising things that Christianity teaches us is that there are worse things than being harmed. There are worse things than suffering. The fear of harm, the fear of suffering is at the root of so many evils like lying, greed, anger, and so on. But suffering is not the worst thing.

Our God suffered to bring about our redemption. How can anyone say that that suffering was bad? The suffering of God in our Lord Jesus Christ was the highest and holiest thing that ever was or ever shall be.

This is reflected in the lives we are given to live as Christians. Jesus has left us with a remembrance of this suffering of God in the Lord’s Supper. We are to do this Lord’s Supper “often,” Jesus says, “in remembrance of him.” In remembrance of what? Of God’s suffering. Paul says in another place, “As often as you eat this bread and drink this cup you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” This sacrament is to remind us of Jesus’s death, God’s suffering.

Then, also, we are called to suffer. Jesus says, “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.” To deny yourself and take up your cross is connected to what we heard also today: We must forgive from the heart. That is a call to suffer. Forgiveness is costly. To reach out across the pain, not counting the cost—that is forgiveness.

I do not have the ability to make a single one of you forgive anyone. You, in fact, do not have the ability to forgive anyone—at least not really, not from the heart. These precious pearls must not be cast before swine. Only the Holy Spirit can work this. What I can do is praise forgiveness. There is nothing nearer and dearer to our God than forgiveness. In Jesus’s costly suffering and death he forgave the whole world! Forgiveness is good.

Therefore, also, suffering is good. Suffering is good when it is done for love of your neighbor. I understand how we all fear suffering. I don’t like it any more than you do. But it is good. For you to forgive those who trespass against you is beautiful. It is more beautiful than anything that money can buy.

So be courageous. To not be afraid of suffering takes courage. Dare to forgive. Dare to reach out and love. By doing so you won’t lose anything that is truly precious. You will be able to taste the true spiritual riches of our suffering, loving God.


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